In the early 90s, I loved Garfield and the Ninja Turtles. (What kid didn't back then?) I got up at 8 AM every damn Saturday just to watch them. I watched my recorded Garfield specials quite often. I practically memorized the first Ninja Turtles movie. I bought anything with Garfield on it; I even had some expensive ceramic figurines. Needless to say, I was something of a fanatic.
Now maybe you'll understand my full meaning when I say that phase was a mere blip on the radar compared to my all-out obsession with Disney's The Little Mermaid. It became my life.
It was released to theatres in 1989, but my mom wouldn't let me go to the theatre for reasons that I'd rather not get into right now. Instead, I saw it when it was released to video, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. When it aired later on The Disney Channel, my dad recorded it for me, and I watched it every. Single. Day. The sad part is that I am not exaggerating for comedic effect. Sometimes I watched it more than once a day.
I had everything. Toys. Clothes. Sleeping bag. Bedroom set. Any other random crap they sold that had Ariel's face printed on it.
Somewhere along the way, my tape got lost and my interest finally waned. I didn't see the movie again until the Platinum Edition DVD was released and I shelled out the 20 bucks for it.
Anyway, how could I be writing a nostalgia blog and not mention this movie? Therefore, here's my observations now that I'm an adult with more discerning taste and self-control.
It can't be denied that the production values are stellar; the animation fluid, bright, and colorful. The songs are among some of the best in the Disney canon, perhaps even the best. This movie is the reason Disney still exists today (though it's arguable if we should be thankful for that or not).
The opening sequence is a pretty nice piece of animation, and is an okay hook. However, the, er, cinematography (?) isn't anything fantastic; I feel like it could've been much more epic. The accompanying score really makes up for it, though.
One random stupid thing that's always bothered me: Do Triton's seven daughters all have different mothers, or are mer-genetics just weird like that? I mean, they all have different hair colors and such.
Speaking of hair colors, it's refreshing that Ariel is a red-head and not a blonde. Her character design is simple but nice; it lends itself very well to becoming iconic.
Also, how come the requisite sidekick character had to be a dumb little fish, anyway? Why couldn't we have had another mer-person or something? Flounder is one of the least-irritating animal sidekicks, but he's still pretty boring.
Speaking of bad animal sidekicks, Scuttle the seagull is one of them. I just can't stand the guy. The bit with the "human stuff" is cute, but other than that, ugh. At least he isn't totally useless, and there is one pretty funny part where Eric makes a joke at his expense.
It's amazing how much your outlook can change when you get older. When I was a kid, I thought King Triton was a royal asshole. I thought, how could he just blow up all Ariel's shit like that? Now that I'm an adult, I realize that I probably would've done the same thing. He's not a bad guy, he's just trying to do the right thing, trying to protect his defiant teenage daughter. Moral #1: Just because you're 16 doesn't mean you suddenly know everything.
As for Ariel, her persistence and bravery are admirable, but I just can't help thinking that she's dumb (pun intended). This could very well stem from my general dislike of teenagers, though. Nevertheless, she's likeable enough and not completely flat or one-dimensional like most other Disney heroines. I think that has a lot to do with the performance of her voice actress, which is no less than perfect.
Therefore, the saddest thing about this movie is that Ariel doesn't get to sing more. Part of Your World is probably the best part of the whole thing. The song is adeptly composed and beautifully performed. The only flaw is that they should have played it totally straight. There are random funny moments with Sebastian the crab throughout the number, and I think it really breaks up the drama. The comedy should've been saved for after the song was over.
As for other big numbers in the production, Under the Sea leaves me somewhat underwhelmed. Yeah, it's cute...I guess. I realize that the whole point of it was to say to Ariel, "Hey, life under the sea is badass. Quit being a retard," but something about it is just...too much.
Another random thing that's been bothering me is...how the hell did Flounder get a hold of that statue? Did he have to pay someone to haul it to Ariel's secret place for him?
The other character who really benefited from a great voice actress was Ursula. The character would have been total crap without the right actress. Ursula is a strong presence for this reason, not necessarily because of the writing. Her dialogue is mostly bland, but the performance makes up for it.
Her big number, Poor, Unfortunate Souls, is pretty damn good. It's a catchy song, well-written, and it helps to further the plot because it's used to convince Ariel to give up her voice in exchange for legs. By the way, you'd think that Ariel would've been a little put-off by that whole "you belong to meeeee" thing, but I guess the point they're trying to make is that she's very fearless and dedicated-- or maybe just really, really stupid. Moral #2: Always read contracts before signing them.
I feel that the second half of the movie is significantly weaker than the first, partly due to the fact that there's no more singing by Ariel until one little tidbit near the very end.
There are a couple of highlights though, such as the scene at the dinner table with the fork and the pipe. Probably the funniest part of the movie. Although, why in the hell did they put her in a pink dress? She's a red-head, for crying out loud! They should have put her in lavender or green or something. Ugh.
Also, there's the bit with the French chef, which is also pretty funny, but way over-the-top. I'm surprised more kids weren't traumatized by this.
The backgrounds on land are exquisite. There's a lot of contrast between the undersea world and the world above the surface.
Then we have the last big number, Kiss the Girl. It's a nice song, but again, they tried to put in comedy and I think it undermined the whole thing.
I'm also not a big fan of the movie's climax. I don't know how I would make it better, but something about it just doesn't sit right with me.
And then there's the biggest departure from the original story: the happy ending. It's just...meh. I mean, it sends the message that even if you almost get yourself killed, Daddy will still be there to save you, AND you'll still get what you wanted in the end. Maybe I'm cynical for looking at it that way, but surely I'm not the only one.
I know I haven't exactly been nice in this write-up, but I do still enjoy this film for what it is, and I can't ignore the impact it had on me. Besides, what do you expect from Disney? High drama?
By the way, this is the last post of 2007. Good riddance, 2007! Here's hoping for a brighter future in 2008.
31 December 2007
18 December 2007
Books! They Do A Body Good.
When I was a kid, I loved books just as much as I loved movies and cartoons. I learned to read at a very early age, and would look at my collection of books over and over again. I even wanted to make my own children's books-- and often did, taking great care to crudely assemble them with copier paper and Scotch tape, complete with even cruder illustrations.
Obviously, old children's books are a one-way ticket to Nostalgia Land for me. They're also the easiest retro junk to find, and the cheapest to boot-- they're often only a dollar a piece. I assume that people get tired of their old books and leave them in Mom's attic for a few decades before they finally end up in a Goodwill or other second-hand store. So it's no surprise that I usually find some pretty cool books in places like that.
Today, I hit the jackpot.
About a block from my apartment there's a place called Second Chance Books and Comics. I've passed it several times, and today I finally decided to pay a visit. Boy, I'm glad I did because this place has everything. I found five books, four of which I had as a child and one of which I thought was too hilarious to pass up. They even had a huge collection of VHS tapes. I wanted to buy like, ten of them, but settled on just two, because I'm poor, dammit. All the items are things that would have ended up on my Retro Wishlist at some point.
The first book I found was...actually not a book I had as a child. However, I had it on a Golden Book Video entitled Three Mercer Mayer Stories. It was one of those weird "video books" that just showed pseudo-animated illustrations from the book with a voiceover. (Read more about the video on RetroJunk if you so desire.)
This book, called Just For You, is about a little furry dude, aptly named Little Critter. It was always my favorite of the three stories on the tape. Basically, Little Critter wants to do things for his mom, but he keeps messing them all up, because that's what kids do. But he gives Mom a kiss and hug, and that makes everything all better. The end.
It's a simple story, as most children's stories are, but it's cute and has neat illustrations. I'm glad to finally have the actual book so I don't have to deal with the funky voiceovers, though I wouldn't mind seeing that video again, either...
The next one was a Little Golden Book adapted from Disney's Cinderella. I barely even remembered it at all until I opened it and flipped through the pages. It's hard for me to put into words what I felt upon doing so. To someone else, this book probably would seem like nothing special, but I was flooded with memories of looking at the illustrations and marveling at them. I think I was only about four years old at the time. I don't know why it made such an impression on my little mind, but it's nice to have it around again.
Next, I came across a Super Mario Bros. book. I did a double take and then laughed out loud. A kid's story about Mario and Luigi? Comedy gold. Published in 1990, Super Mario Bros. 3: Happy Birthday, Princess Toadstool is as awesomely dumb as it sounds. In fact, I think I could write a better Mario story. But I just couldn't pass this one up, especially since it was only a dollar.
Basically, Mario decides to go into an old, decrepit castle to find a Starman (called "Magic Star" in the book) to give to the Princess for her birthday. He picks a fireflower and shoots fire out of it at Goombas and Koopas, who are always described as "ghastly" and "creepy", respectively. The writer goes to ridiculous lengths to make sure Mario doesn't actually take anybody out, but we all know better.
I always thought you found stars in question blocks, but in this tale, Mario finds it sitting on top of a giant pile of coins. You'd think he'd be like, "Wow, a giant pile of coins!" but I guess Mario has seen enough giant piles of coins in his lifetime. So anyway, he gives the star to the Princess. And stuff. Oh, and Luigi is in there somewhere too. Man, poor Luigi. I always felt kinda bad for the guy.
The next book I came across was one published in 1965, entitled The Witch Next Door. This copy definitely shows its age, but at least it's not falling apart.
When I had this book as a small child, it was already 20-some years old and I think it once belonged to my sister, who is fifteen years older than me. I wonder if it's the same copy I had as a child, but I don't remember there being sloppy grade-schooler handwriting inside the cover of it.
It's surprising to me that my mom let me read this book at all, because she was on this crusade against magic and the like, and wouldn't let me watch certain things because of it.
The book made a big impression on me. The illustrations are very simple, and are black-and-white except for little hints of green. I remember thinking someone had colored in my book until I figured out it was made that way, since the coloring style looks like green crayon. This was another one of those books I used to sit and stare at.
Anyway, the witch wears the stereotypical witch hat and black robe and even paints her house black, but she's all nice and stuff. She makes friends with the neighbor kids. Two cranky old people get all up-in-arms about a witch living in their neighborhood. So what does she do? She casts a spell on them!...and turns them into a young prince and princess, and they frolic off somewhere to live happily ever after.
Okay, so this book is weird. But I did a dance when I saw it, because I totally forgot it existed until I saw the cover. I love that "holy shit I haven't seen this in 20 years" feeling.
The last book I found was The Doll in the Garden. It's one of those elementary-school-type chapter books, and it's a ghost story.
When I was in the third grade, we read a story called Stonewords, which I'll write about in detail another time. It was also a ghost story, and started a fascination with them. So not long after, I found The Doll in the Garden, read it, and loved it.
It's not bad for a kid's book, but definitely not a masterful work of literature. A girl named Ashley discovers-- surprise --a doll buried in the garden. The doll belongs to a little dead girl. Et cetera. Like I said, no great work of art, but entertaining enough for a nine-year-old.
I read it approximately seventeen times as a kid. I remember writing my own alternate ending where Ashley rescues the ghost girl. God, I was a weird kid. Anyway, I've collected the other two ghost stories I liked, but this one has been elusive as hell. I've been looking for it for at least two years. It was a little expensive for this sort of thing-- four dollars --but totally worth it.
And now for the VHS tapes. One of them is The Lion King, which I've been looking for forever, but didn't want to shell out 30 bucks for on the internet. I was fine with paying $12.50 for it, though, so it's finally mine. However, I am not going to write about it at length right now, because everybody knows how awesome it is. But "Be Prepared" for a post about it sometime in the future. D'oh ho ho, I'm so funny.
The other tape I got was The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Now, this saw a DVD release not too long ago, but I couldn't talk myself into paying 20 dollars for it. So, needless to say, I was happy when I found this. Besides, it being a VHS tape adds major nostalgia points.
There have been many Disney cartoons about Pooh Bear, but I think these are the best ones-- at least, they are according to my memory. It's actually three stories in one collection. The one I remember the most is the one about the honey tree, and the thing I remember most about that is the "I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud" song. My dad used to sing it to me sometimes. Oh, and the Tigger song. Who could forget that?
Needless to say, I'm definitely going back to Second Chance. Who knows what treasures are waiting to be discovered?
Obviously, old children's books are a one-way ticket to Nostalgia Land for me. They're also the easiest retro junk to find, and the cheapest to boot-- they're often only a dollar a piece. I assume that people get tired of their old books and leave them in Mom's attic for a few decades before they finally end up in a Goodwill or other second-hand store. So it's no surprise that I usually find some pretty cool books in places like that.
Today, I hit the jackpot.
About a block from my apartment there's a place called Second Chance Books and Comics. I've passed it several times, and today I finally decided to pay a visit. Boy, I'm glad I did because this place has everything. I found five books, four of which I had as a child and one of which I thought was too hilarious to pass up. They even had a huge collection of VHS tapes. I wanted to buy like, ten of them, but settled on just two, because I'm poor, dammit. All the items are things that would have ended up on my Retro Wishlist at some point.
The first book I found was...actually not a book I had as a child. However, I had it on a Golden Book Video entitled Three Mercer Mayer Stories. It was one of those weird "video books" that just showed pseudo-animated illustrations from the book with a voiceover. (Read more about the video on RetroJunk if you so desire.)
This book, called Just For You, is about a little furry dude, aptly named Little Critter. It was always my favorite of the three stories on the tape. Basically, Little Critter wants to do things for his mom, but he keeps messing them all up, because that's what kids do. But he gives Mom a kiss and hug, and that makes everything all better. The end.
It's a simple story, as most children's stories are, but it's cute and has neat illustrations. I'm glad to finally have the actual book so I don't have to deal with the funky voiceovers, though I wouldn't mind seeing that video again, either...
The next one was a Little Golden Book adapted from Disney's Cinderella. I barely even remembered it at all until I opened it and flipped through the pages. It's hard for me to put into words what I felt upon doing so. To someone else, this book probably would seem like nothing special, but I was flooded with memories of looking at the illustrations and marveling at them. I think I was only about four years old at the time. I don't know why it made such an impression on my little mind, but it's nice to have it around again.
Next, I came across a Super Mario Bros. book. I did a double take and then laughed out loud. A kid's story about Mario and Luigi? Comedy gold. Published in 1990, Super Mario Bros. 3: Happy Birthday, Princess Toadstool is as awesomely dumb as it sounds. In fact, I think I could write a better Mario story. But I just couldn't pass this one up, especially since it was only a dollar.
Basically, Mario decides to go into an old, decrepit castle to find a Starman (called "Magic Star" in the book) to give to the Princess for her birthday. He picks a fireflower and shoots fire out of it at Goombas and Koopas, who are always described as "ghastly" and "creepy", respectively. The writer goes to ridiculous lengths to make sure Mario doesn't actually take anybody out, but we all know better.
I always thought you found stars in question blocks, but in this tale, Mario finds it sitting on top of a giant pile of coins. You'd think he'd be like, "Wow, a giant pile of coins!" but I guess Mario has seen enough giant piles of coins in his lifetime. So anyway, he gives the star to the Princess. And stuff. Oh, and Luigi is in there somewhere too. Man, poor Luigi. I always felt kinda bad for the guy.
The next book I came across was one published in 1965, entitled The Witch Next Door. This copy definitely shows its age, but at least it's not falling apart.
When I had this book as a small child, it was already 20-some years old and I think it once belonged to my sister, who is fifteen years older than me. I wonder if it's the same copy I had as a child, but I don't remember there being sloppy grade-schooler handwriting inside the cover of it.
It's surprising to me that my mom let me read this book at all, because she was on this crusade against magic and the like, and wouldn't let me watch certain things because of it.
The book made a big impression on me. The illustrations are very simple, and are black-and-white except for little hints of green. I remember thinking someone had colored in my book until I figured out it was made that way, since the coloring style looks like green crayon. This was another one of those books I used to sit and stare at.
Anyway, the witch wears the stereotypical witch hat and black robe and even paints her house black, but she's all nice and stuff. She makes friends with the neighbor kids. Two cranky old people get all up-in-arms about a witch living in their neighborhood. So what does she do? She casts a spell on them!...and turns them into a young prince and princess, and they frolic off somewhere to live happily ever after.
Okay, so this book is weird. But I did a dance when I saw it, because I totally forgot it existed until I saw the cover. I love that "holy shit I haven't seen this in 20 years" feeling.
The last book I found was The Doll in the Garden. It's one of those elementary-school-type chapter books, and it's a ghost story.
When I was in the third grade, we read a story called Stonewords, which I'll write about in detail another time. It was also a ghost story, and started a fascination with them. So not long after, I found The Doll in the Garden, read it, and loved it.
It's not bad for a kid's book, but definitely not a masterful work of literature. A girl named Ashley discovers-- surprise --a doll buried in the garden. The doll belongs to a little dead girl. Et cetera. Like I said, no great work of art, but entertaining enough for a nine-year-old.
I read it approximately seventeen times as a kid. I remember writing my own alternate ending where Ashley rescues the ghost girl. God, I was a weird kid. Anyway, I've collected the other two ghost stories I liked, but this one has been elusive as hell. I've been looking for it for at least two years. It was a little expensive for this sort of thing-- four dollars --but totally worth it.
And now for the VHS tapes. One of them is The Lion King, which I've been looking for forever, but didn't want to shell out 30 bucks for on the internet. I was fine with paying $12.50 for it, though, so it's finally mine. However, I am not going to write about it at length right now, because everybody knows how awesome it is. But "Be Prepared" for a post about it sometime in the future. D'oh ho ho, I'm so funny.
The other tape I got was The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Now, this saw a DVD release not too long ago, but I couldn't talk myself into paying 20 dollars for it. So, needless to say, I was happy when I found this. Besides, it being a VHS tape adds major nostalgia points.
There have been many Disney cartoons about Pooh Bear, but I think these are the best ones-- at least, they are according to my memory. It's actually three stories in one collection. The one I remember the most is the one about the honey tree, and the thing I remember most about that is the "I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud" song. My dad used to sing it to me sometimes. Oh, and the Tigger song. Who could forget that?
Needless to say, I'm definitely going back to Second Chance. Who knows what treasures are waiting to be discovered?
16 December 2007
Three Christmas Specials.
Well, it's December, and you know what that means.
Like many of you, some of my favorite Christmas memories are of watching the holiday movies and TV specials. I remember those more than the presents I got; I haven't yet figured out if that's a good thing or not.
So, you all get to listen to me blather on about some of them. Because that's what I do.
A Garfield Christmas Special
This special premiered in 1987, but I first saw it in the early 90s, a time when things at my house were beginning to take a turn for the worse. My mom was going crazy and my parents' marriage was starting to fall apart. So I have mixed feelings about this special. I think this was the first time I felt cynical about Christmas-- even though I was only about 10 or 11 years old.
Honestly, it's pretty cute, but it's not the end-all be-all of Christmas specials. The best part about it is definitely Jon's grandma. She totally steals the show. Maybe this is just the bad memories talking, but if you missed out on it as a kid, you probably ought to just skip it. Check out the Thanksgiving special instead-- it's far better, in my opinion.
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Alright, who hasn't seen this? Well...my fiance, for one, but we're going to fix that problem very soon.
A Charlie Brown Christmas has long been a yearly tradition on television-- for over 40 years, actually. It used to run on CBS, but nowadays it's on ABC, which to me feels kind of...wrong. But I won't get started on that again.
I actually didn't manage to catch this special until sometime in the early 90s, so it isn't quite as nostalgic for me as some of the others. However, it's still one of my favorites. It's still relevant even today-- well, except for maybe that aluminum Christmas tree thing. What was that all about?
This is one of the few specials still running on network television that's true to the meaning of the holiday. It's refreshing, because most of them are all about family or Santa or whatever. Those stories can be fun, and Christmas may be about family to some extent, but there's way more to it than that. It is called Christmas, you know. Anyway, Linus tells it like it is and I really appreciate that.
Also, the quality holds up pretty well considering that it's a TV special that was made in 1964, which wasn't exactly the golden age of animation.
Finally, the soundtrack is wonderful. I own the album and sometimes listen to it even when it isn't Christmastime. It's not fancy or anything-- just jazz piano, backed by drums and an upright bass, but it's unpretentious and has a lot of heart, which really makes me feel warm and fuzzy. If I had a fireplace, I'd sit by it and drink hot chocolate while listening to this CD.
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
I don't like that song, actually. It ranks at the bottom of my Christmas music list, along with I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town (ironically, also a Rankin-Bass special).
Thankfully, the special is much less irritating.
The stop-motion animation looks pretty decent, to be honest (except for all the scratches on the film-- what exactly does "digitally remastered" mean anyway?). They obviously put a lot of time and effort into it. I also think the character models/designs are cute, and it has a good little message about how it's okay to be different.
I'm surprised that this was also made in 1964. I think time has been a little unkind to it, since it seems much older. Much like with the Garfield special, it's cute, but I hesitate to recommend shelling out 14 bucks for the DVD unless you're really nostalgic for it or have kids-- otherwise you might get bored with it. I personally have fonder memories of some of the other Rankin-Bass specials, which I'll probably talk about another time.
I know, I've been a little more negative than usual in this post. I'm not Ebenezer Scrooge or something-- I really enjoy Christmas, and I get a kick out of watching these specials, even the lackluster ones.
So, feel free to leave a comment and share any good memories you might have of these specials-- or other specials, if you haven't seen any of the ones listed here. And I promise the next Christmas-y post will be more positive...if I can get around to making another one before Christmas is over.
Like many of you, some of my favorite Christmas memories are of watching the holiday movies and TV specials. I remember those more than the presents I got; I haven't yet figured out if that's a good thing or not.
So, you all get to listen to me blather on about some of them. Because that's what I do.
A Garfield Christmas Special
This special premiered in 1987, but I first saw it in the early 90s, a time when things at my house were beginning to take a turn for the worse. My mom was going crazy and my parents' marriage was starting to fall apart. So I have mixed feelings about this special. I think this was the first time I felt cynical about Christmas-- even though I was only about 10 or 11 years old.
Honestly, it's pretty cute, but it's not the end-all be-all of Christmas specials. The best part about it is definitely Jon's grandma. She totally steals the show. Maybe this is just the bad memories talking, but if you missed out on it as a kid, you probably ought to just skip it. Check out the Thanksgiving special instead-- it's far better, in my opinion.
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Alright, who hasn't seen this? Well...my fiance, for one, but we're going to fix that problem very soon.
A Charlie Brown Christmas has long been a yearly tradition on television-- for over 40 years, actually. It used to run on CBS, but nowadays it's on ABC, which to me feels kind of...wrong. But I won't get started on that again.
I actually didn't manage to catch this special until sometime in the early 90s, so it isn't quite as nostalgic for me as some of the others. However, it's still one of my favorites. It's still relevant even today-- well, except for maybe that aluminum Christmas tree thing. What was that all about?
This is one of the few specials still running on network television that's true to the meaning of the holiday. It's refreshing, because most of them are all about family or Santa or whatever. Those stories can be fun, and Christmas may be about family to some extent, but there's way more to it than that. It is called Christmas, you know. Anyway, Linus tells it like it is and I really appreciate that.
Also, the quality holds up pretty well considering that it's a TV special that was made in 1964, which wasn't exactly the golden age of animation.
Finally, the soundtrack is wonderful. I own the album and sometimes listen to it even when it isn't Christmastime. It's not fancy or anything-- just jazz piano, backed by drums and an upright bass, but it's unpretentious and has a lot of heart, which really makes me feel warm and fuzzy. If I had a fireplace, I'd sit by it and drink hot chocolate while listening to this CD.
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
I don't like that song, actually. It ranks at the bottom of my Christmas music list, along with I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town (ironically, also a Rankin-Bass special).
Thankfully, the special is much less irritating.
The stop-motion animation looks pretty decent, to be honest (except for all the scratches on the film-- what exactly does "digitally remastered" mean anyway?). They obviously put a lot of time and effort into it. I also think the character models/designs are cute, and it has a good little message about how it's okay to be different.
I'm surprised that this was also made in 1964. I think time has been a little unkind to it, since it seems much older. Much like with the Garfield special, it's cute, but I hesitate to recommend shelling out 14 bucks for the DVD unless you're really nostalgic for it or have kids-- otherwise you might get bored with it. I personally have fonder memories of some of the other Rankin-Bass specials, which I'll probably talk about another time.
I know, I've been a little more negative than usual in this post. I'm not Ebenezer Scrooge or something-- I really enjoy Christmas, and I get a kick out of watching these specials, even the lackluster ones.
So, feel free to leave a comment and share any good memories you might have of these specials-- or other specials, if you haven't seen any of the ones listed here. And I promise the next Christmas-y post will be more positive...if I can get around to making another one before Christmas is over.
06 November 2007
Retro Wishlist II: The Revenge
Hey, kids! It's time for the next installment of the Retro Wishlist! These additions are much more expensive and difficult to obtain than the first three items, but what's a wishlist without stuff like that?
04. A DeLorean DMC-12
Oh, come on. You knew I had to include this. Who doesn't want one of these things?
The DMC-12 was featured in a certain series of time-travel comedies and has since become something of an icon. It was only in production from 1981-1983, since DeLorean Motor Company went bankrupt after the arrest of its founder. Thus, the number of cars that still exist is relatively small, estimated to be somewhere around 6500.
This is one of the most unique cars I've ever seen. Instead of being primed and painted, it's plated with stainless steel. Apparently, some owners have painted their DeLoreans; I personally would never do this, since I think it really takes away from the value and charm of the car.
It also has those distinctive gullwing doors. As a kid, I thought they were the coolest thing ever (which led to a short-lived obsession with Lamborghinis). I still think they're pretty damn cool, but I have to wonder about something: Do DeLorean owners have to park on the outskirts of parking lots to be able to open the door and get out of the car?
Only three times have I ever seen a DeLorean in real life. The first time, I saw one speeding down the interstate and had to suppress the overwhelming urge to stalk it. The second time, I saw one sitting at a car lot/garage as I passed by. (The next time I drove by there, it was gone.)
The third time was two nights ago. I'm staying with a friend while waiting to move into an apartment, and I was just hanging around when my friend comes inside talking about something awesome he just saw. Naturally, I had to go outside to find out what was going on. Well, the neighbors had a DMC-12 sitting in their driveway, which is fucking amazing enough as is. But it wasn't just any DMC-12-- it was decked out to look just like the time machine from Back to the Future. It was all lit up and had the wires, cables, flux capacitor, the whole nine yards. It even had sound clips from the movie playing through its speakers.
As you might expect, I had a nerdfit and did a really stupid happydance after inspecting it thoroughly. I'm still kicking myself in the ass for not asking the guy if I could take a picture of it. Of course, it's gone now. Damn it.
I've heard that the car is going back into limited production next year. I don't know if that's true or not, but if it is, I'm so getting one when I get 50,000 dollars to spare.
05. A Big Ugly Dish System
...Also known as "television receive-only". Surely you guys have seen a ten-foot satellite dish sitting in someone's yard before. That's what I'm talking about. Satellite TV, 80s-style.
Why do I want one of these when I could just get one of those modern, much smaller dishes? Mostly to fulfill an old childhood desire.
When I was a kid, my family spent a lot of time at Uncle Sonny and Aunt Ruby's house. (They weren't really my aunt and uncle-- more like my mom's cousins or something like that.) They lived in a rural area, and since you couldn't get cable out there, Uncle Sonny had a big ugly dish. Since I was just a little bitty thing, and BUD systems are kind of complicated, I was never allowed to mess with it.
Back before we had cable, the idea of getting TV from places other than Oklahoma City boggled my little mind. I really wanted to see what kinds of new and interesting channels I could find, and if there were any cartoons on them. My dad said Uncle Sonny could get channels from all over the planet, which even now, sounds fascinating.
Anyway, I never got my hands on that dish-controller-box contraption. In the 90s, Uncle Sonny left his big dish in the dust and got Primestar-- a newfangled satellite service that used a much smaller dish --instead.
Unfortunately, TVRO is pretty obscure now thanks to stuff like Dish Network and DirecTV, which makes me a little sad. This makes it something of a waste for me to ever try getting one set up, not to mention I'm no electronics hobbyist, and would have to pay somebody some serious bucks to set it up for me. I don't like TV that much. But if I ever have large amounts of money lying around, and no better use for it, I'd go for it.
04. A DeLorean DMC-12
Oh, come on. You knew I had to include this. Who doesn't want one of these things?
The DMC-12 was featured in a certain series of time-travel comedies and has since become something of an icon. It was only in production from 1981-1983, since DeLorean Motor Company went bankrupt after the arrest of its founder. Thus, the number of cars that still exist is relatively small, estimated to be somewhere around 6500.
This is one of the most unique cars I've ever seen. Instead of being primed and painted, it's plated with stainless steel. Apparently, some owners have painted their DeLoreans; I personally would never do this, since I think it really takes away from the value and charm of the car.
It also has those distinctive gullwing doors. As a kid, I thought they were the coolest thing ever (which led to a short-lived obsession with Lamborghinis). I still think they're pretty damn cool, but I have to wonder about something: Do DeLorean owners have to park on the outskirts of parking lots to be able to open the door and get out of the car?
Only three times have I ever seen a DeLorean in real life. The first time, I saw one speeding down the interstate and had to suppress the overwhelming urge to stalk it. The second time, I saw one sitting at a car lot/garage as I passed by. (The next time I drove by there, it was gone.)
The third time was two nights ago. I'm staying with a friend while waiting to move into an apartment, and I was just hanging around when my friend comes inside talking about something awesome he just saw. Naturally, I had to go outside to find out what was going on. Well, the neighbors had a DMC-12 sitting in their driveway, which is fucking amazing enough as is. But it wasn't just any DMC-12-- it was decked out to look just like the time machine from Back to the Future. It was all lit up and had the wires, cables, flux capacitor, the whole nine yards. It even had sound clips from the movie playing through its speakers.
As you might expect, I had a nerdfit and did a really stupid happydance after inspecting it thoroughly. I'm still kicking myself in the ass for not asking the guy if I could take a picture of it. Of course, it's gone now. Damn it.
I've heard that the car is going back into limited production next year. I don't know if that's true or not, but if it is, I'm so getting one when I get 50,000 dollars to spare.
05. A Big Ugly Dish System
...Also known as "television receive-only". Surely you guys have seen a ten-foot satellite dish sitting in someone's yard before. That's what I'm talking about. Satellite TV, 80s-style.
Why do I want one of these when I could just get one of those modern, much smaller dishes? Mostly to fulfill an old childhood desire.
When I was a kid, my family spent a lot of time at Uncle Sonny and Aunt Ruby's house. (They weren't really my aunt and uncle-- more like my mom's cousins or something like that.) They lived in a rural area, and since you couldn't get cable out there, Uncle Sonny had a big ugly dish. Since I was just a little bitty thing, and BUD systems are kind of complicated, I was never allowed to mess with it.
Back before we had cable, the idea of getting TV from places other than Oklahoma City boggled my little mind. I really wanted to see what kinds of new and interesting channels I could find, and if there were any cartoons on them. My dad said Uncle Sonny could get channels from all over the planet, which even now, sounds fascinating.
Anyway, I never got my hands on that dish-controller-box contraption. In the 90s, Uncle Sonny left his big dish in the dust and got Primestar-- a newfangled satellite service that used a much smaller dish --instead.
Unfortunately, TVRO is pretty obscure now thanks to stuff like Dish Network and DirecTV, which makes me a little sad. This makes it something of a waste for me to ever try getting one set up, not to mention I'm no electronics hobbyist, and would have to pay somebody some serious bucks to set it up for me. I don't like TV that much. But if I ever have large amounts of money lying around, and no better use for it, I'd go for it.
03 November 2007
This Is Home Box Office.
Okay, readers. It's time for the nerdiest post yet (but certainly not the nerdiest I'll ever write). Can you handle it?!
As you all know, HBO is probably the biggest cable network ever. However, this post isn't really about HBO. Rather, it's about its bumpers, on-air graphics and movie intros, a few of which I'll be showing you thanks to all those other retro lovers out there on Youtube.
Home Box Office signed on for the first time in 1972. Can you believe it's been around that long? Neither can I. I thought it started a few years later, like many other networks. Anyway, check out this rare ID. It's from the 70s, back when the "O" in "HBO" still overlapped the "B". That damn O sure was an attention whore. I dig those rainbow stripes though. Very old-school.
Couldn't find it on Youtube, so check it out on RetroJunk!
Another common misconception is that HBO was always a 24/7 network, but it actually didn't start that until December 1981, nine years after its inception.
What that means is that at one point in time, HBO had a sign-off sequence! This blew my mind when I first found out about it on the internet. Not because it's a stellar example of animation (it's not), but because the idea of a pay channel signing off at night is really bizarre. Also, it seems like something of a rip-off, especially when you consider that HBO cost around 12 bucks a month back then, which, in 2007 money, translates to roughly 3000 dollars. Oh well. Check out the video anyway!
(If you'd rather go to Youtube and watch the video, or if the embed doesn't work for you, just click here.)
Alright, you want to see something really dated? Check this next video out. Apparently this clip was recorded in late 1980, but the 70s aesthetic was still going strong. This thing is funktastic. Also, is it just me or does that little theme for the movie intro bear some resemblance to the Star Trek theme music? Listen for it when the words "HBO Feature Movie" come on the screen.
(Again, if that doesn't work, go here.)
Oh, but you ain't seen nothin' yet.
Here's the cream of the crop. The crown jewel. The mother of all the HBO logos, graphics, and intros. If you were alive in the 80s at all, chances are you remember seeing this thing at least once. My parents didn't even subscribe to HBO and I managed to see it. I don't remember when. I don't remember where. But I saw this thing once at some point during my childhood and I never forgot it. I remember wishing that I could see it again, but I don't think I ever did until I found it on RetroJunk at the beginning of my big retro craze. Needless to say, this just added more fuel to the fire.
Anyway, here it is: the glorious HBO Feature Presentation movie intro, aka "HBO in space".
(Or go here.
If you don't think that was one of the most awesome things you've ever seen, then you can just get the hell out of here right now.
Not only is it fucking epic, it also features one of the most exquisitely crafted models I've ever seen. That's right, it ain't CGI, kids. That thing was built in 1982 by hand with blood, sweat, and tears. Or...maybe just hammer, nails, and paint. Even the flying HBO logo that almost crashes through the screen at the end is a model.
Anyway, it's visually impressive even today, but the music is what really makes it amazing. Every hear it, I get chills. And then I feel like watching something huge like Poltergeist, Star Wars, or Raiders of the Lost Ark.
There also happens to be a really cool behind-the-scenes look at the making of this thing, which you can look at here if you like that nerdy kind of thing (which I do!).
Also, HBO might have taken themselves very seriously when they made that, but they also had a sense of humor: they made more than one parody of this intro for April Fool's Day. Here's one of them. Go look at it, dammit! Or the giant HBO logo will come for you in your sleep.
I have more clips, but I think I'll end this one here. I don't want to scare away the last two people that are reading this thing. Plus, it's late and I'm hungry. I promise the next post won't be quite as nerdy as this. If you appreciated this post in any way, please leave me a damn comment and tell me so I don't have to strangle myself with an old VHS tape.
As you all know, HBO is probably the biggest cable network ever. However, this post isn't really about HBO. Rather, it's about its bumpers, on-air graphics and movie intros, a few of which I'll be showing you thanks to all those other retro lovers out there on Youtube.
Home Box Office signed on for the first time in 1972. Can you believe it's been around that long? Neither can I. I thought it started a few years later, like many other networks. Anyway, check out this rare ID. It's from the 70s, back when the "O" in "HBO" still overlapped the "B". That damn O sure was an attention whore. I dig those rainbow stripes though. Very old-school.
Couldn't find it on Youtube, so check it out on RetroJunk!
Another common misconception is that HBO was always a 24/7 network, but it actually didn't start that until December 1981, nine years after its inception.
What that means is that at one point in time, HBO had a sign-off sequence! This blew my mind when I first found out about it on the internet. Not because it's a stellar example of animation (it's not), but because the idea of a pay channel signing off at night is really bizarre. Also, it seems like something of a rip-off, especially when you consider that HBO cost around 12 bucks a month back then, which, in 2007 money, translates to roughly 3000 dollars. Oh well. Check out the video anyway!
(If you'd rather go to Youtube and watch the video, or if the embed doesn't work for you, just click here.)
Alright, you want to see something really dated? Check this next video out. Apparently this clip was recorded in late 1980, but the 70s aesthetic was still going strong. This thing is funktastic. Also, is it just me or does that little theme for the movie intro bear some resemblance to the Star Trek theme music? Listen for it when the words "HBO Feature Movie" come on the screen.
(Again, if that doesn't work, go here.)
Oh, but you ain't seen nothin' yet.
Here's the cream of the crop. The crown jewel. The mother of all the HBO logos, graphics, and intros. If you were alive in the 80s at all, chances are you remember seeing this thing at least once. My parents didn't even subscribe to HBO and I managed to see it. I don't remember when. I don't remember where. But I saw this thing once at some point during my childhood and I never forgot it. I remember wishing that I could see it again, but I don't think I ever did until I found it on RetroJunk at the beginning of my big retro craze. Needless to say, this just added more fuel to the fire.
Anyway, here it is: the glorious HBO Feature Presentation movie intro, aka "HBO in space".
(Or go here.
If you don't think that was one of the most awesome things you've ever seen, then you can just get the hell out of here right now.
Not only is it fucking epic, it also features one of the most exquisitely crafted models I've ever seen. That's right, it ain't CGI, kids. That thing was built in 1982 by hand with blood, sweat, and tears. Or...maybe just hammer, nails, and paint. Even the flying HBO logo that almost crashes through the screen at the end is a model.
Anyway, it's visually impressive even today, but the music is what really makes it amazing. Every hear it, I get chills. And then I feel like watching something huge like Poltergeist, Star Wars, or Raiders of the Lost Ark.
There also happens to be a really cool behind-the-scenes look at the making of this thing, which you can look at here if you like that nerdy kind of thing (which I do!).
Also, HBO might have taken themselves very seriously when they made that, but they also had a sense of humor: they made more than one parody of this intro for April Fool's Day. Here's one of them. Go look at it, dammit! Or the giant HBO logo will come for you in your sleep.
I have more clips, but I think I'll end this one here. I don't want to scare away the last two people that are reading this thing. Plus, it's late and I'm hungry. I promise the next post won't be quite as nerdy as this. If you appreciated this post in any way, please leave me a damn comment and tell me so I don't have to strangle myself with an old VHS tape.
21 October 2007
A taste of things to come.
In case you don't know, I'm an anime fan. Recently I saw the Mobile Suit Gundam movies. Not Gundam SEED, not Gundam Wing, but Gundam. The one that started the whole thing. Since Gundam is pretty retro-- the TV series dates back to 1979 --I'm going to be reviewing all three movies sometime in the future. There's a lot of info to soak up, so I'm going to watch them a few more times first.
Anyway, after I do that, I've got something else up my sleeve that is perhaps a bit more interesting. I'm going to take Gundam and Star Wars and see how they match up. Might seem like an unlikely comparison, but the parallels between them are not easily overlooked.
Stay tuned! I've got plenty of other nerdy stuff planned in the meantime.
Anyway, after I do that, I've got something else up my sleeve that is perhaps a bit more interesting. I'm going to take Gundam and Star Wars and see how they match up. Might seem like an unlikely comparison, but the parallels between them are not easily overlooked.
Stay tuned! I've got plenty of other nerdy stuff planned in the meantime.
16 October 2007
Peanuts taste good.
I feel like rambling about random stuff instead of doing a full-fledged article-style post. I dunno if this experiment will be a success, but what the hell. I'm bored, okay? Cut me some slack.
Well, the first thing I'll mention is that I couldn't find the re-release of Poltergeist. Granted, I only looked at this crappy small-town Wal-Mart and not at my beloved Hastings like usual, but still. However, while browsing the DVD aisles hoping maybe a copy of it would magically appear, I came across something just as good: the Peanuts holiday specials box set. For 20 bucks. Which is the best price I've ever seen for it. (God bless you and your low, low prices, Wal-Mart.) Since I've been wanting to buy it for years, but could never justify shelling out the ridiculous amounts of cash most places were asking for it, I decided to put off Poltergeist for a couple of weeks and buy this gem instead.
So, having nothing to do today, I watched all three of the DVDs in the set. I'm actually pretty impressed with the releases, barebones as they are. You can hardly tell that the Christmas and Halloween specials are 40 years old. The picture and sound are quite nice.
Watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was almost like a whole new experience. Apparently, all these years they've been editing stuff out of it, and I never even knew about it. There was at least five minutes' worth of stuff in there that I'd never seen before. I had it recorded back in the 80s, but I think parts of it were cut off due to editing out the commercials and stuff. So getting a big dose of nostalgia while at the same time seeing something new was a lot of fun.
Anyway, even though it cost me 20 of my precious dollars, I'm really glad I bought this, because I haven't seen these specials in years and I never manage to catch them on television. They come when you're not expecting them and are gone before you know what happened. Kinda like ninjas. Ninjas that drag around a blue security blanket.
Also, it just feels...wrong watching them on ABC as opposed to CBS. That's nerdy, I know, but I think we've established the fact that I'm one of the nerdiest people on the planet when it comes to retro crap. Admittedly, it felt a little weird watching them on DVD too, and the absence of the famous "CBS Special Presentation" logo is most certainly felt. Also missing is the logo for the local CBS affiliate and the little map of Oklahoma in the corner that showed weather warnings. If I could somehow score copies of these specials on VHS that included all that stuff plus commercial breaks, I think I could die happy.
Here's where I change topics by making a confession: I am a huge nerd. No really, I am. I collect old station IDs, bumpers, promos, commercials, eyecatches, and the like. I also collect some production logos-- those logos you see at the end of shows, like "DiC" and stuff. My videos folder has 142 files in it; 99% of them are this kind of stuff. I have station IDs from places I've never been to, some from before I was even born.
For those of you who may not be familiar with the term "station ID", I'll explain briefly. The FCC requires television stations to identify themselves at least once per hour, providing their call letters (KOCO, KFOR, etc) and city. In the 70s and 80s, there were a lot of independent TV stations that had their own identities: slogans, logos, jingles, and animations, which were incorporated into their station IDs.
I don't really know why I became so fascinated by them. Maybe because they're a lost art. Some older ones use a technique called slit-scan animation that fell out of use with the rise of CGI. It has major retro-cool factor. Some of them are great examples of early CGI, and when I look at them I think, "Wow, they could do this stuff back then?"
Or maybe it's because some of my earliest memories are of that kind of thing.
Now, I've always liked 80s stuff a whole lot, and I started getting nostalgic for my early childhood when I was still in high school. But then I kinda forgot about it for a while, until one day about two years ago, when I was puttering around on the internet and got linked to retrojunk.com. I was poking around in the videos section and came across something that had been stuck in the back of my mind since I was two years old: CBS's Saturday morning bumpers for the 1984-1985 season.
Watch them here. I command it!
When I saw those again, I got all emotional and watched the video about a zillion times while wondering how in the hell I managed to remember something so seemingly insignificant for so many years.
And that's what started this whole obsession with retro stuff. So now you know.
I actually have been planning to write about some of these IDs and logos that I hold so dear, and now that I've got my secret out in the open, it should be a lot easier to do so. Be on the lookout for it pretty soon.
Well, the first thing I'll mention is that I couldn't find the re-release of Poltergeist. Granted, I only looked at this crappy small-town Wal-Mart and not at my beloved Hastings like usual, but still. However, while browsing the DVD aisles hoping maybe a copy of it would magically appear, I came across something just as good: the Peanuts holiday specials box set. For 20 bucks. Which is the best price I've ever seen for it. (God bless you and your low, low prices, Wal-Mart.) Since I've been wanting to buy it for years, but could never justify shelling out the ridiculous amounts of cash most places were asking for it, I decided to put off Poltergeist for a couple of weeks and buy this gem instead.
So, having nothing to do today, I watched all three of the DVDs in the set. I'm actually pretty impressed with the releases, barebones as they are. You can hardly tell that the Christmas and Halloween specials are 40 years old. The picture and sound are quite nice.
Watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was almost like a whole new experience. Apparently, all these years they've been editing stuff out of it, and I never even knew about it. There was at least five minutes' worth of stuff in there that I'd never seen before. I had it recorded back in the 80s, but I think parts of it were cut off due to editing out the commercials and stuff. So getting a big dose of nostalgia while at the same time seeing something new was a lot of fun.
Anyway, even though it cost me 20 of my precious dollars, I'm really glad I bought this, because I haven't seen these specials in years and I never manage to catch them on television. They come when you're not expecting them and are gone before you know what happened. Kinda like ninjas. Ninjas that drag around a blue security blanket.
Also, it just feels...wrong watching them on ABC as opposed to CBS. That's nerdy, I know, but I think we've established the fact that I'm one of the nerdiest people on the planet when it comes to retro crap. Admittedly, it felt a little weird watching them on DVD too, and the absence of the famous "CBS Special Presentation" logo is most certainly felt. Also missing is the logo for the local CBS affiliate and the little map of Oklahoma in the corner that showed weather warnings. If I could somehow score copies of these specials on VHS that included all that stuff plus commercial breaks, I think I could die happy.
Here's where I change topics by making a confession: I am a huge nerd. No really, I am. I collect old station IDs, bumpers, promos, commercials, eyecatches, and the like. I also collect some production logos-- those logos you see at the end of shows, like "DiC" and stuff. My videos folder has 142 files in it; 99% of them are this kind of stuff. I have station IDs from places I've never been to, some from before I was even born.
For those of you who may not be familiar with the term "station ID", I'll explain briefly. The FCC requires television stations to identify themselves at least once per hour, providing their call letters (KOCO, KFOR, etc) and city. In the 70s and 80s, there were a lot of independent TV stations that had their own identities: slogans, logos, jingles, and animations, which were incorporated into their station IDs.
I don't really know why I became so fascinated by them. Maybe because they're a lost art. Some older ones use a technique called slit-scan animation that fell out of use with the rise of CGI. It has major retro-cool factor. Some of them are great examples of early CGI, and when I look at them I think, "Wow, they could do this stuff back then?"
Or maybe it's because some of my earliest memories are of that kind of thing.
Now, I've always liked 80s stuff a whole lot, and I started getting nostalgic for my early childhood when I was still in high school. But then I kinda forgot about it for a while, until one day about two years ago, when I was puttering around on the internet and got linked to retrojunk.com. I was poking around in the videos section and came across something that had been stuck in the back of my mind since I was two years old: CBS's Saturday morning bumpers for the 1984-1985 season.
Watch them here. I command it!
When I saw those again, I got all emotional and watched the video about a zillion times while wondering how in the hell I managed to remember something so seemingly insignificant for so many years.
And that's what started this whole obsession with retro stuff. So now you know.
I actually have been planning to write about some of these IDs and logos that I hold so dear, and now that I've got my secret out in the open, it should be a lot easier to do so. Be on the lookout for it pretty soon.
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